Godzilla: King of the Monsters film review: *Fart noises*

Enlarge / The way this film turned out, that blast of radiation should be coming out of the other end. (credit: Warner Bros. / Legendary Pictures)

The Ars Technica braintrust of movie fans has no shortage of good, funny, silly, or enjoyably bad kaiju film recommendations. We love our share of stompy monster movies, whether they come in the form of surprisingly fun thrillers, quirky existential ruminations, or even awesome scenes inside of otherwise underwhelming popcorn flicks.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters will not be on our list of recommended ultra-monster films anytime soon, if ever.

Instead, I’m holding out hope that this week’s sloppy, plodding, and logically bankrupt film eventually becomes the subject of a “how did this happen?” documentary, the kind that might explain why the film’s scriptwriters, director, and editors all seemed to abruptly quit working simultaneously.